Category: Let's talk
what do you think of promises? are they ment to be broken or does it help to make you a better person or worse?
They never should be broken if you can avoid it..nor should they be empty,the fall out from doing so is distrust,hurt and dislike...I fail to see how breaking a promise makes you a better person, its a terrible breach of trust, and very damaging so many friendships have been destroyed by broken promises...
I think Promises are always meant to be kept, unless it is something that can hurt the person or others, like if someone says they want to commit suicide or plans to do something harmful to others. Then the promise should be broken so that that person could get professional help if needed. Other than that, in most cases, if one says they will or will not do something, they should always follow thru when they can. But also, if they can't, they should give the person an honest or good reason as to why they couldn't.
Leilani
never make a promise if you don't know if you can keep it.
Well, then an intere=sting angle on this discussion. What is a promise? Is saying "Oh I'll do this tomorrow" a promise? It's a statement of intent and that's all fine but does it constitute a promise? Does "I'll do it tomorrow, you can count on that" qualify as a promise then, is it any different from the first statement except that it carries a stronger implication of intent. If a person says "I promise to do this tomorrow" yes, that's definitely a promise, no arguing about that.
no, anything other than, I promise, is purely intent. if you don't promise to do it, then if you don't do it you haven't broken the promise. but if you say, I promise I'll do something, and you don't, then you've broken a promise.
if someone says to me, I promise, then I expect them to do whatever they promised, but if they then don't, then if they promise again, i'm less inclined to believe it'll happen.
Promises is something I really understand, when talked about. I had a friend who broke his/her promise, back on the days and were still friends but I no longer trust HER I have trust issues, when I meet someone new, its kinda hard for me to trust because it really hurts when someone breaks that promise, trust goes along with it. It takes a long long time to get it back. So, be careful. don’t promise If you know you cant do it.
It is difficult to trust people who break promisses. However, some people make promisses without taking into account that there may be developments which make it in the promissing persons best interests not to go through with there promise. I personally try to avoid making promisses unless I know I'm going to be able to keep them know matter what happens. The word try is always useful to use in a promise, because you can't always guarantee that things will be done the way you originally wanted to do them, but by trying, you have kept your promise to try and if you don't keep that promise, only you can be held accountable, and it is your fault. You cannot blame anybody else. Without the word try been included, you can blame the actions of other individuals for you not keeping your promise.
I broke a very sincere promise I'd made with Ally shortly after Louis was born. I had promised to always be there if he needed me concerning the little bloke..when Louis took ill with a painful ear infection and was taken to hospital...Ally called me I was 1/2 way up the ice wall at Tiso's outdoor shop,I tossed my phone away from 15ft and carried on..My bother was livid at my disregard and when I found out what had happened, I felt terrible so that's the tale of my almighty broken promise, but after facing Ally's wrath it was certainly the last...smile
I think that if you add a phrase like 'I promise' or 'I give my word' you're not just adding reassurance, but steaking something of your personal integrity on it. As much as everyone's human and flawed, I think that going back on my word is a big deal, and I tend to treat it as such in other people as well.
ok. Is it just the words "I promise" that make it a promise? I think even without the words, when you tell someone your going to do something, they should do it with just as much initiative as if they had promised. Otherwise, why bother saying your going to do it?
Hmm I don't agree with that. You may state your intention to do something because that's how you feel at the time. If you commit so strongly to everything you say you must watch your words extremely carefully. "I'm going to be a doctor" e.g. .. you may feel like that starting university and then after a year you feel like this is not you and you'd much rather go for chemistry, should you finish the medicine study just because you stated your intentsion to someone? If you promised to become a doctor so that you could, say, save your friend or had some strong emotional reason to do so that is different and you may make more of a commitment on that score. Not to say that your stated intensions have no meaning but a promise is a very strong word and an indication of a very strong dedication and I don't think you should be that dedicated to every little thing you want to do and express that desire to others.
That's just my opinion though.
cheers
-B
Well, "I'm going to be a doctor" only effects you (it could effect others, but in general it effects your own well being) if you tell someone something like I will take you to the movies Friday or I will call you tonight. Those things are things that effect someone else. People really look forward to things and that could hurt them (emotionally) if not followed through with. I am not saying that you have to hold it in the same light as promising someone something, but you should do your best to follow through with something that you say your going to do if it involves someone else.
IAm .. agreed, if you say you are going to do something you should do it. That's very true, especially if it involves someone else. However e.g. in your case if one had promised to call but ended up in a meeting and didn't get home till, say, midnight, if it had been a promise I would've actually excused myself, ran out of the meeting to try and get in touch with the person and let that person know of the situation. If I had stated my intent and said I was going to call I would've waited and just explained it the day after. Of course if I had the chance to call and no reason why I shouldn't the two equate to about the same I should make the call.
But, yeah, statement of intent is definitely not to be taken lightly.
Cheers
-B